so, it's true. i have a crush. and it's silly. but i do. and i like it. and i like liking someone. it makes me smile. :)

no, i'm not revealing who it is. if you know me, or have talked to me recently. you probably know. and i only told one person. shhh.

awww. i cant stop smiling!

this is going to end badly. i can tell already.

the school deal

ok, so i think i'm in denial. i AM failing two of my classes. But i dont think i want to drop them. Number one, i dont want to face my parents. Number 2, i'm going to have to re-take the course anyway, might as well learn everything now. Number 3, i DONT WANT TO TELL MY PARENTS.

see, they dont get this whole "college is hard" thing. They think that i should be able to pass, and get good grades. i do, just not in Chemistry, it takes me a little while longer. they dont understand that a lot of people have to re-take course...they just dont get it. They make me feel stupid, like i'm completly inadequate.

Eastern's way harder than lakeland....ahhh durr. I mean, it's a big transition, not to mention the whole roomy thing...and the actual courses being mad hard. I know, i shouldnt blame that kinda stuff on my not doing well. It's my own fault.

but then i think...i studied for both of my last genetics and chem tests....and i thought i did good....did i? no. ahhh. i have to tell them.

i think i'm going to tell my mom....and then let her tell dad.

It's gunna let them down. seriously, and i'm going to cry.

but it's not like they're paying for it, it's all loans, that i'm going to pay...ahhhhh...

i cant deal with this. Seriously, can i get a break? i want a break from the stress...i need out of this whole school deal.

blah

<3

it's done

i'm out of the house. everythings in my room...and i have A LOT of crap. somehow i think it doubled from the time last summer to now. hmm. eh.

i tried calling megan this morning to tell her, and someone picked up and immediatly hung up. so i just texted her. i'm guessing she doesnt want to talk.

we have this whole situation with the bed. cause there isnt anywhere to put it. i dont want to sell it, cause eventually i will move out, and eventually i'm going to need a bed again. It's sitting in our garage at the moment...and since i dont work tonite i'm going to try and re-arrange and get rid of stuff in my closet so we can put it up there. So, tonite should be grand fun huh?

i had a nice dream last night, it was cute. little flirtations between me and a boy with no face. :( i dont have a boy to flirt with. *sigh*

later lovers

crap

so this day-to-day thing isnt working out..

i have nothing to say. i ranted to matt earlier about my whole school thing. and Alex gave me good and sound advice..think i'm going to stick with it. So, since nothings changed, no need to write it down. :)

i like my job. the end.

i miss camp, and indiana people. like woah.

yeah, this whole writting every day thing isnt gunna happen

<3

Day 2

Guess who i saw today?? no really, guess. my best friend Dannielle!!! :) She took me and matt to fazollis. and it was supurb. i miss her.

However, i am going to see her in a couple of weeks. Which should be fun! Ben (and possibly Nick) are coming with me. Should be good times, good times....

Afterwards, i'm going to my aunt and uncle's house for my baby cousin's 2nd birthday. yay!! The boys are coming with me. Which should really be interesting with my family. As ben said "You're going to walk in there with a short peirced kid, and a tall hairy kid. what is your family going to think?" I'm sure it will be ok. To tell the truth, it'd be a lot nicer if Nick didnt come. And i think that may be a good possibility. He's kinda a weiner...so unless he really really wants to come, he wont make the trip.

Bleh...school tomarrow. i get to see how bad i did on my test. joy. can't wait!

night lovers.